Spurting Dictionaries

For all the web 2.0 chicanery which dominates the broadsheets these days it is often forgotten that really, deep down, the internet is just a conduit for conveying pornography to the world, so the only way to make this blog really attract any web traffic is to splatter it with odd snippets of filth in the hope that some randy teenager stumbles across your website whilst trying to navigate with only one hand hoping to find some chutney banditry or what Richard Keys would describe as "smashing."

In order to facilitate my own rise through the ranks to internet stardom, and hopefully an Aaron Sorkin penned script about my hitherto crapulent existence, I've created a page called big dicks (and the prep school boy within me is already blushing and guffawing [almost certainly sic] and giggling like a sexually immature newt) to try and ensnare some traffic onto my site.

Big Dicks is not sadly for those who like a bit of long schlong and sadly we have no pictures of teams of clydesdales getting deep but an index of my burgeoning collection of Dictionaries, Encyclopaedias and Cyclopedias. And if you're really lucky I might even include my favourite entry. But frankly that might be pushing it.

So bad luck to our one handed friends. But I'm sure with only a few clicks or mice they'll find something suitably lurid. The dictionary of slang can be very blue and if you don't believe me google Black Shrimp.

This will probably receive even fewer hits than Ugly Jesus but what the hell, it might raise a smile among the passing onanist and keeps me from thinking how utterly horrid most of the world is. HUZZAH.