Thursday, 7 July 2011

A Dictionary of Historical Slang. And the horrors of the United Kingdom



This blog has become the runt of the litter over the last few months due to the myriad demands on your dear narrator but no more. It shall cast aside its status as runt as ascend to the heavens like any good underdog should. I've got a dictionary to spank about below and it might be worth reading if you want to expand your knowledge of expletives and how to chat like a 18th century vagabond. 

But for the time being I wanted to bring your attention to the above, which is taken from the Howard League for Penal Reform journal (insert blah quote about Dostoyevsky and judging society yadda yadda yadda) which puts into context the Guardian offering weekend breaks to Tripoli in the middle of a civil war. The article in question focuses on why we ( the British people) place some much faith in trial by jury which is frankly a bit worrisome when most people are complete morons who can barely follow the plot of Eastenders let alone complex trial led by men in wigs.

What is most damning is the response to the question "To equal treatment entering and leaving the UK irrespective of race or colour". In 2000 82% strongly endorsed this right (okay 18% of the population are still racist which isn't great but we'll live to fight another day) but by 2010 only 66% felt this was important. Fair enough the insidious Murdoch press has set about gutting the UK of any moral fibre and the Tories are using immigration as the putty to hold together their feckless ideology together but shurely, surely, surely we should be able to recognised that race or colour shouldn't make a blind bit of difference. 

Personally, I still blame Konnie Huq. The moment she ruined Blue Peter, the death knell of the United Kingdom rang out loud and true and we all died a little.

Anyway, onto things more fun. A dictionary of Historical Slang, picked up in an occult bookshop near the Strand for less money than a copy of Razzle but it is at least ten times a filthy. And unlike most dictionaries it has a humorous front cover which hints at the joyous irreverence of the editor.  

The entry for fuck is a work of genius and opens up some many avenues of filth that at first one is overwhelmed but then the potential for indecency is fully perceived for the first time. And lo it is mighty fine. And lets be honest, most, if not all, people who first pick up a dictionary immediately find themselves scrolling through the letter "F" until their eyes rest upon the word fuck and chortle absentmindedly.


 For example, "Michael Gove you are a man of unscrupulous kidney and a total fuck beggar." Brilliant. And true. So everyone is a winner.

I.e. Gideon Osborne is a pig-widgeon.

 I.e. Eric Pickles is a Bartholomew-Boar Man, which gives that bloater and unwarranted air of drama and romance akin to a distant back woodsman rather than Tory putrescence.